Confession Day.

They say the truth will surface someday,somehow in someway.The truth surfaced today,the truth I've been avoiding to face all these while.Perhaps,this day would come ultimately,eventually.Just that I thought I could always cover it up.I looked up the lamp post under the moon,it was bright.Brighter than the one hanging in the sky.I saw myself after that.I saw how I shunned everyone away.I saw how I did not trust anyone easily.I saw how long it took someone to broke down the walls I built.I saw everything.It seemed like it just happened a moment ago.The next moment I turned to my side and saw this very person just beside me.Then,suspicion aroused in me.It was a struggle.The struggle of accepting the fact that actually the person who loved you the most could hurt you the most.Then,sadness slapped me to reality.
"Don't you remember those days when all you knew you could trust was yourself?"
"I remember." Another voice resounded.I looked at how far I have came.It is not easy at all.Betrayed trusts,after betrayed trusts.I did not want to be so full of hatred and pessimistic,but the world showed me it was like this.Today.Perhaps,this is why the business executives go to their offices everyday and hit their sales quota of the month only.If you do not reach it,do you think anyone will sympathise you?No,of course they would not.When you are up there,all your competitors just want to get you down below them someday.These are the people you have to learn to beware of.Really?Brother and Dad used to tell me these,but I told them I did not believe the world was like this.I believed that truthful people still exists in this world,so every morning,after dressing myself up,I walk out of my house door believing that today is going to be a great day because I am going to meet whosoever.Perhaps that was the naive part.No worries about it,I assure you its fading,very quickly.Madam Josephine also said that we can't trust anyone in this society.I took it as a advice.Till today,I know it is a fact.It is.Now do you understand why the best actor gets the Oscar award?Everyone is acting.No one is truthful at all.Just when I thought there are so many around that is trustworthy.Perhaps I should pick up the acting skills too.Go to Mediacorp and attend some acting lessons and join some drama clubs.The first thing I'll question myself from tomorrow onwards,with each action or word being said to me will be whether can it be trusted.Or rather,I should not even ask myself.Just assume that it is another "actor".I am tired.I am really tired.I am tired of exposing myself to so many people who can act in front of me so easily.I'll learn to protect myself again.I'll pick myself up again.

Lastly,to this beloved someone I made confession to,today.(It's not a love confession-.-)
I am really sorry,I know that you are utterly disappointed in me.I know you are.I am,in myself too.I feel guilt.No excuses for myself this time,I am in the wrong.But,don't disappear from my life alright?This three years of friendship is the best to me.Believed it or not..They say people realise who they can trust after something has happened.I realised you have been truthful to me all these while,it is me who have let you down this time.It is me.
Sorry.