Never knew it.

I've been wondering what got me so hooked on to blogging recently.Perhaps it's because I know somehow and someday,you'll be able to read all these.I hope you are reading all these now.As I type this,I find it quite silly,its like writing a letter without the address on it.It's been a long time since I have felt this way.A lot of what happened has set me thinking a lot.And this reminds me of what Laoma have been telling me,to observe more,and talk less.It works.I didn't know how hurting can words be till they made me taste it.Perhaps just a heavier dosage of my own medicine.These few days,in fact,weeks,I've been thinking whether would things be different if I had chased you.If I wasn't the egocentric me,if I was willing to be dying just to get you instead.There was this particular night where I could not get to sleep,it was already 2am in the wee hours.I text Jasmine telling her I think I am missing you.Yes,I am a jerk,no doubt.Break up and still saying craps.And then I ask myself again,when was the last time I lost sleep because of someone.It was years ago.Text Shirleen throughout the night yesterday,and she learned about my failures in relationships.She said I was a playboy,perhaps I am.After all these that have happened,I learned that how others judge you may not really matter.A quote on Twitter said,"let your work speak for itself." It doesn't matter how many haters I have.I have as much lovers as they do.People asks me why they exists,perhaps its because you are what they want to become.I should have got used to all these since secondary school I thought.How many people have been talking about me since those days..Jealousy kills I guess.Haters say I am cocky,Lovers say they love my confidence.At times,I may say something people may think is beyond reach,but what happens when I achieve them?I've failed one time in my life,I'll remember this,I said to get a single digit for my O levels,but I got ten.People say its good,but to me,I'm not satisfied with it.This is me,I love to compete.People say I cannot take losses.You are wrong,because I hate to lose,I won't let myself lose.That's that.
Well,let's talk about happier stuffs.School is opening again!This holiday was boring,except for driving!I really hope to get the licence by the end of December.Dad said he will pay for my driving test once only.So if I fail it..then I'll have to fork out $150 bucks myself!Touchwood big time.Alright,it's late.I'm wondering how many people reads my blog,but to whoever that has read this whole chunk by me,may you be happy:)
Amen.