MyLittleEndeavours

24 hours.

2012-01-31T20:08:00.001+08:00

It feels like its been a long time since I talked to you. It feels like its been a long time since I saw you. It feels like I may not know you anymore. It feels like I've not learned my lesson. It feels like I should have ignored you since then. It feels like I should have adopted the role of a Casanova. I guess these are things you'll never understand and feel at all, in my position today. I just wonder did I change you this much. You told me that Love cannot be compared to an infatuation. You told me that Love should choose someone we can live with and not someone we can't live without. Why did you have to tell me you love me and then leave me. It sucks when people tell me you're lying, because they feel that you would not have done so if what you said was the truth. I still remember that night, when I had my hands tucked in my pockets while talking to you. As I was saying about how many things I wanted to do with you, you started tearing. I had my back faced you while saying those things that night. Tears pelted down smoothly on my cheeks but I turned around and smiled at you. I wish that night would come again, then I'll never let you go. The first day was a struggle, but as time passes, I'm beginning to feel more numbed to it now. Perhaps I'm begining to accept things, although I'm living on the hopes and encouragements given by friends everyday now. I am feeling glad everyday now, at least I know that treats you better than I did. At least you're laughing everyday now and cry. At least you are happier now..without me. I'm contented enough that I have told what I wanted to tell you at least. I guess I was just too late, too late. It's so contradicting about what is running through here everyday now. Sometimes I wish I was with you still. But sometimes I wish you are happier with him at least. In any case, haha, I guess guys are supposed to be stronger. And to forget things more easily. Lastly,I'll still be there when you feel broken, I promised you. Stay happy. No one has ever loved you more than I do<3

Unspoken Words Of Love For You.

2012-01-23T09:03:00.000+08:00

I'll use this place, and pen down everything. Word by word, in remembrance of everything. Everything. It's crazy how I easily keep from anyone what's going on with this heart and mind, for months. No it is not amazing, because someday when you realise you have lost what is deemed important in your life, it is too late. It just feels like it has happened again. When it happen the first time, it was horrible. The word "horrible" here is under-rated. Greatly under-rated.
As usual it took a night to figure out things. I wish God would tell me what he has for me. Is my love story so interesting? The first time it happened, I took the role of a playboy. Now it's happened again, what am I supposed to do. I wish there's one day I'll go to church alone, and see there alone, talking to God for hours.
What am I supposed to tell you. That the notes you gave me are still hanging there, and every time I get upset I'm reading it? You said, " Smile, 'cos you deserve to. :) " Do I really deserve to smile now? "When penguins find their mate, they stay together for the rest of their lives. Will you be mine?" It hurts to read all these now. It hurts to see anything that reminds me of us. Yes, the us that was neglected. The us that I thought would continue. I guess I am dumb, yes amazingly that dumb. I thought about continuing to be friends, is that possible for me? Why am I always trying to think rational solutions that will work out? You made a choice yesterday you say you would not regret. You said love will eventually spark off. Few months ago I still remember Wei Chiat telling me my heart is still with you. Today it is still, and I have regrets, for not telling you earlier. Telling you anything that I have thought of, always wanted to tell you about, but have been holding back. Perhaps it is a good lesson. I wish I have more time to say things here right now, but time disallows. I'll pen down more things when I am back. In the meantime, I have been thinking about, being friends? In any case, I still want to thank God for this lesson in life. I thank you too.

Chapters.

2011-11-15T21:40:00.003+08:00

It all started with a simple class chalet,when everyone were just friends.Even if they did not like me,they just kept mum about.Every smile and chat were just simple pretence.Things were supposedly fine between me and him.It was during the day of the bbq that everything began,everyone were having fun,eating.It was the usual me when I started talking to her,it was just me calling people random names.Bossing people around like there were my maid by asking them to get food or drinks for me.Her friends,once friends I'd say,stood up for her upon witnessing how I was "picking" on her.Everything started that very moment I guess.A small amount of alcohol was brought to the chalet that day,and I was introduced to alcohol that very day also.It wasn't tough acting like I am a good drinker.We played a drinking game,but sips of alcohol were took each time you lost,as a forfeit.By the time we finish that bottle of alcohol,I headed to the bathroom to get a bath.It was when I came out of the bathroom and was aware of my already-red-face,by her very furious reaction towards me drinking.At this time,she was playing monopoly with them,and I sat beside her,but she ignored my reactions.It was clear she was upset with me drinking.Guess no girl should or will have felt that way if they just got to know you,but she did.It was then I started to feel good about her.I went to sleep and..
It was the second day of the chalet.They were heading to wild wild wet,but I did not want to.As I walking to get lunch with a few other guys at Subway,my phone vibrated.She was furious with me not participating in the activities,and questioned me why.It was fun teasing her and watching her not being able to reply.She got my number when we were playing "running man" on the night of the bbq.I guessed it was fated.
Everything happened so rapidly,because we were texting since that day.She fell sick on that exact day after visiting wild wild wet,on that night.I remembered calling her at twelve to nag at her tell her to rest early and take sufficient water,so that her fever would subside soon.She was feeling better the next day and she told me that I was "sweet".It was not long before confessions were made and we were together.I was so convinced and confident that even knowing each other for about two weeks,we were going to work out.It was little that I found out that,she was so trapped between our relationship and what they have been telling her.I feel unfair that she has to go through all these things because of people who do not agree with the way I do things.He have been running on her ears to breakup with me,but right in front of me,he acted like we were great secondary school mates.Directly,I guess I am not wrong to say that he was instigating her to get a break up with me.I would even say the breakup is because of him.The truth is,I'll never forget all these incidents that caused this breakup,I'll never.What was worse..I've never mentioned to anyone that my Brother played a part in all these,but what could I do?
It's traumatising,it is.I'll remember these people for good,and then when I'm up there,I'll take them down,just one by one.All these pent-up emotions and grievances will work out one day,and they'll finally be justified.
I've decided to take up boxing.

Content.

2011-11-14T00:48:00.001+08:00

Just contented to see you living life happily,from afar.I think that's what great love is about.Everything is expressed simply on this body of mine.One day if you see of what has became to me,then you'll probably realise it's all these pent-up energy that has resulted me to workout everyday.They say it's a good let-out.
I'm not so friendly on the court anymore,elbows are swung and anything more to create space which usually does not happen at all.I question myself whether is it purely for the game only or is it because there is so much emotions in each swing.I'm so tired,really tired.

Unspoken.

2011-11-02T23:03:00.002+08:00

It's the first time in my life there are so many words I am forbidden to say.

Apple.

2011-10-25T21:53:00.003+08:00

His biological parents did not want him.They gave him away to another couple who promised that he would be a University graduate.However,he did not make it to a University too.His college days were tough,collecting and selling Coke bottle caps that were worth five cents each.College was too far a distance from his home,so he had to stay in the school's hostels.But again,he could not afford staying in the hostels,therefore he slept in a friend's room very often.Every coming weekend,he would cover uncountable distance to just get a good meal,in a temple.They serve free vegetarian lunches every weekend,and it was a sumptuous meal to him.It was not long before he dropped out of college. However he started having interest in something his other friends did not appreciate-Chinese calligraphy.Before long,he found himself back home,in his garage.This was the astonishing moment,he was building what would become the top company today.Yes,the iMac started in a garage.He is none other that Steve Jobs.When the iMac was created,Apple was built.He was the CEO of this very successful enterprise.He had to look for talents,it took him no little effort to get this genius he reckoned to work for him.However,a few years later,he was sacked.Yes,you're right,why will you be sacked from your own company?This was because Steve had differences with this talent he found,and the board of directors did not support Steve.On his own,he opened another two companies,Pixar and Nexon.Nexon is one of the companies behind the very successful MapleStory now.Pixar?Pixar created one of the world's best animated film-Toy Story.It took him a short while to be successful again after being sacked.At this time,Pixar was sold to Disney for 7.5 billion.Apple approached Steve back to work for them,and yes,he agreed.How much would he be paid a year?Nope,not 1 million,not 2,not 50 either.He asked to be paid USD$1 a year.Fifty percent would be his daily attendance at work,so what about the other fifty?It would be based on his work performance.Soon,his name was up on Forbes magazine as soon as the deal with Disney fell through.He was one of the richest men on earth.He then moved on to create the very amazing iPhone 4,and also the iPad,impressive.As much as he was hated for the way he works,people ought to respect the developments he brought to technology,and most importantly,music.He was sighted in Singapore to be drinking coffee with the owner of Google before he passed on.This post is a tribute to the late Steve Jobs.
My newfound idol and inspiration,respect.

Never knew it.

2011-10-16T00:03:00.000+08:00

I've been wondering what got me so hooked on to blogging recently.Perhaps it's because I know somehow and someday,you'll be able to read all these.I hope you are reading all these now.As I type this,I find it quite silly,its like writing a letter without the address on it.It's been a long time since I have felt this way.A lot of what happened has set me thinking a lot.And this reminds me of what Laoma have been telling me,to observe more,and talk less.It works.I didn't know how hurting can words be till they made me taste it.Perhaps just a heavier dosage of my own medicine.These few days,in fact,weeks,I've been thinking whether would things be different if I had chased you.If I wasn't the egocentric me,if I was willing to be dying just to get you instead.There was this particular night where I could not get to sleep,it was already 2am in the wee hours.I text Jasmine telling her I think I am missing you.Yes,I am a jerk,no doubt.Break up and still saying craps.And then I ask myself again,when was the last time I lost sleep because of someone.It was years ago.Text Shirleen throughout the night yesterday,and she learned about my failures in relationships.She said I was a playboy,perhaps I am.After all these that have happened,I learned that how others judge you may not really matter.A quote on Twitter said,"let your work speak for itself." It doesn't matter how many haters I have.I have as much lovers as they do.People asks me why they exists,perhaps its because you are what they want to become.I should have got used to all these since secondary school I thought.How many people have been talking about me since those days..Jealousy kills I guess.Haters say I am cocky,Lovers say they love my confidence.At times,I may say something people may think is beyond reach,but what happens when I achieve them?I've failed one time in my life,I'll remember this,I said to get a single digit for my O levels,but I got ten.People say its good,but to me,I'm not satisfied with it.This is me,I love to compete.People say I cannot take losses.You are wrong,because I hate to lose,I won't let myself lose.That's that.
Well,let's talk about happier stuffs.School is opening again!This holiday was boring,except for driving!I really hope to get the licence by the end of December.Dad said he will pay for my driving test once only.So if I fail it..then I'll have to fork out $150 bucks myself!Touchwood big time.Alright,it's late.I'm wondering how many people reads my blog,but to whoever that has read this whole chunk by me,may you be happy:)
Amen.

Won't change.

2011-10-13T17:47:00.002+08:00

Still the same,and will remain the same.

I wouldn't want to forget you even if I am diagnosed with amnesia.Kill me if I must forget.

Jar of Post-Its.

2011-10-12T22:25:00.000+08:00

Then.

2011-09-16T21:44:00.000+08:00

It's been two days,but to when was the last time I saw you,I have got no impression at all.I didn't expect things to be so quiet around here without you,I realised this on the first night when I was about to sleep.Everything seems abrupt.Everything seems full of anger.Everything seems so impatient.Everything started to be missed when I stared down at the seat where you once sat at the basketball court.It seemed so familiar when I stared at the seat we once sat and played mobile games then went for dinner after that.I thought a lot.A lot about it.Life could have been better for you,without my presence.They call me a playboy,I think perhaps I am one now.Especially in the eyes of your friends.The notes you pasted on my wall,they are left untouched.The eye mask you gave me,I am sleeping with it every night now.They say humans only learn to cherish things only after they are gone,now this statement seems extremely true.You were right,I have not put in much effort.I know I did not when I went back all the way to the very first one.There was once you told me that you were impressed with my drawing,but I turned you away only to say that I have only drawn for one single girl in my life and not a second one yet.Deep down,I knew you wanted me to make a drawing of you,or us.I began to think of whether you are still thinking of me.I asked most of my friends and they said you probably would.But when they asked me to talk to you,I find myself speechless.I sincerely wish someone better could be there to love you more.Perhaps,that very day was the day I realise and know what true love is all about.

就让我好好地暗恋一个人吧,这次.

Please.

2011-07-21T15:19:00.003+08:00

I just need some time off.

強出頭

2011-06-27T22:49:00.000+08:00

忠实的读者星座的预言
总是选择性接受
解释心里的疑惑却逃避自己犯下什么错
我爱你每多一天越不愿承认你不能爱我
看不见听不见或对我在催眠
仿佛一切没变
爱是顽固的意念反复的练又复原
像一个新谜底字写错的包裹
再也寄不到我也没资格保留
不能从头来过
怪我强出头在意着你太多
压抑每分钟想爱你的念头
他让你难过我给不了什么
很爱你永远都不能说
怪我强出头非要撑到最后
是我不够成熟不死心还想逗留
谢谢你没有说破这个故事主角不是我

爱是顽固的意念反复的练又复原
像一个新谜底字写错的包裹
再也寄不到我也不应该为你守候
不能从头来过
怪我强出头在意着你太多
压抑每分钟想爱你的念头
他让你难过我给不了什么
我爱你永远都不能说
怪我强出头非要撑到最后
是我不够成熟不死心还想逗留
谢谢你没有说破这个故事主角不是我

恨自己那么怕寂寞想为你做的事好多
明知你要的只是朋友的温暖
但我总是给真爱你幸福了没有
是与我无关的梦
不能重头来过不能重头来过
怪我强出头在意着你太多
压抑每分钟想爱你的念头
他让你难过我给不了什么
我爱你永远都不能说
怪我强出头非要撑到最后
是我不够成熟不死心还想逗留
谢谢你没有说破这个故事主角不是我

Confession Day.

2011-06-14T22:52:00.000+08:00

They say the truth will surface someday,somehow in someway.The truth surfaced today,the truth I've been avoiding to face all these while.Perhaps,this day would come ultimately,eventually.Just that I thought I could always cover it up.I looked up the lamp post under the moon,it was bright.Brighter than the one hanging in the sky.I saw myself after that.I saw how I shunned everyone away.I saw how I did not trust anyone easily.I saw how long it took someone to broke down the walls I built.I saw everything.It seemed like it just happened a moment ago.The next moment I turned to my side and saw this very person just beside me.Then,suspicion aroused in me.It was a struggle.The struggle of accepting the fact that actually the person who loved you the most could hurt you the most.Then,sadness slapped me to reality.
"Don't you remember those days when all you knew you could trust was yourself?"
"I remember." Another voice resounded.I looked at how far I have came.It is not easy at all.Betrayed trusts,after betrayed trusts.I did not want to be so full of hatred and pessimistic,but the world showed me it was like this.Today.Perhaps,this is why the business executives go to their offices everyday and hit their sales quota of the month only.If you do not reach it,do you think anyone will sympathise you?No,of course they would not.When you are up there,all your competitors just want to get you down below them someday.These are the people you have to learn to beware of.Really?Brother and Dad used to tell me these,but I told them I did not believe the world was like this.I believed that truthful people still exists in this world,so every morning,after dressing myself up,I walk out of my house door believing that today is going to be a great day because I am going to meet whosoever.Perhaps that was the naive part.No worries about it,I assure you its fading,very quickly.Madam Josephine also said that we can't trust anyone in this society.I took it as a advice.Till today,I know it is a fact.It is.Now do you understand why the best actor gets the Oscar award?Everyone is acting.No one is truthful at all.Just when I thought there are so many around that is trustworthy.Perhaps I should pick up the acting skills too.Go to Mediacorp and attend some acting lessons and join some drama clubs.The first thing I'll question myself from tomorrow onwards,with each action or word being said to me will be whether can it be trusted.Or rather,I should not even ask myself.Just assume that it is another "actor".I am tired.I am really tired.I am tired of exposing myself to so many people who can act in front of me so easily.I'll learn to protect myself again.I'll pick myself up again.

Lastly,to this beloved someone I made confession to,today.(It's not a love confession-.-)
I am really sorry,I know that you are utterly disappointed in me.I know you are.I am,in myself too.I feel guilt.No excuses for myself this time,I am in the wrong.But,don't disappear from my life alright?This three years of friendship is the best to me.Believed it or not..They say people realise who they can trust after something has happened.I realised you have been truthful to me all these while,it is me who have let you down this time.It is me.
Sorry.

爱错.

2011-06-13T22:59:00.002+08:00

爱错.

Now and Then.

2011-05-05T19:00:00.003+08:00

Just Do It.

2011-04-27T23:24:00.001+08:00

I opened your Facebook chat log,wanted to say something,then closed it.Then opened it again,and then closed it.I do it probably twice or thrice a day.At times,I feel so reluctant to acknowledge that I am eradicating you from my life,everything.I even thought of removing you on MSN,FaceBook,any social networks I can find with you in it.Since you can even say that on your MSN nickname so easily.These few days,I am beginning to think that what you had said the past two years are just plain bullshit.Bullshit to me now,at least.I cannot face the fact that I actually stood up for you still though.The commitments I gave.It all came to naught that day,when you said that to me.Great,polytechnic life is great without you for me anyway.Ten years,down the streets,in school,anywhere,you are just going to be a stranger.Someone I will never talk to again.This is the level of extreme I will take it to.Hopefully,I would not have to take it to the enemy extent because of anything you are going to do to me in future.Sincerely,hope you have the best in life.As I type all these now,I'm beginning to know that this is no more turn-back.Hopefully,hopefully,I'll start anew.That's all bahs,bade you farewell here.

One,alone.

2011-03-31T21:34:00.001+08:00

I still remember vividly when I came home that very day, smiled at my parents like nothing is wrong with me. I hurried into the bathroom, and took off the fabric that was covering the upper part of my body. Then I came upon my own reflection at the mirror. I looked at myself, I stared at myself, and my eyes exposed the inner self. Tears trickled down my cheeks. I looked at myself as I cried. It was ugly, but I am sure I wanted that to be the outer part. I want to be like everyone else, being able to express their emotions in front of anyone else. I think that is a blessing, because I can’t do that. I can’t. I used to think that crying was just a representation that you are nothing but a weakling. Till that very day when all the stacked-up emotions just began crumbling down. It took awhile before the insides were fixed and very soon I was ‘alright’ again. I really wish to switch roles with people. I still human after all. I am made up of flesh. I’ll not play super hero this time. I’ll not take more than what I can take anymore. I’ll be contented. I need someone else to be my pillar. I am pillar of many others and that is the reason why I need another support. I really need it. I don’t want to come home and just stay confined in my room anymore. I want my parents to understand me. Do you know it’s been a long time since I embraced my mum and cried to her? It has been a very long time. Years, in fact, or maybe, this is just retribution. I’ve let down countless people in my life especially when they needed me the most. For now, I just wished to be loved. I just wish to be loved. I think I really need a break-away. I think I really need one.

我爱过几个人，也被爱过几遍，却还是没能将幸福留下
I feel better after writing it out here. @Sylvestisalone.blogspot.com is really my loyal solace that has never left me once.

Depressed.

2011-03-27T00:16:00.001+08:00

You make me hate myself much.
I'm just tired.
This is the first time I'll say this to myself.
F.M.L.

Thoughts,all-day!

2011-02-06T17:37:00.000+08:00

I just had a peek at my last post and it was like one month ago!I keep forgetting to update this very loyal "heart-listener"!Well,hopefully everyone is having an awesome Chinese New Year:)
I thought today was quite a fruitful day because someone actually kind of carved my personality just by having a conversation that lasted thirty minutes with me.I know its,amazing.Simply amazing.Okay,enough of the suspense.It's my uncle actually.A man who already has one feet in the coffin,the boss of a marine engineering company and a very contented and simple man.He joked,and laughed at me.I have to admit I did not felt good when he said I do not look like I can take Law and Management.Seemed like he was stepping on my pride the whole afternoon till he said this to me,"I know what kind person you are already." He said pointing to me confidently with a grin on his face."You are someone who wants to climb up quick enough but is so afraid so get down again.And the pressure that is pulling you down may just kill you someday."
I stood there,stunned.He was right to a certain extent.I mean I am an ambitious person.Success and power told me in the secondary school days that they weren't difficult to achieve.I rose to status in like three short years in my secondary school life and kind of excel in them?When you are up there,so many others just can't wait for you to get back down.Gossips,rumors and back-stabbers are just there to pounce on you.They said I was naive.I felt I was just being optimistic about these people.But he was right afterall,he was right.I did not like to lose.In fact,I hate to lose.I am a competitor.I'm beginning to like winning more and more.Maybe he is going to be right.One day when I fall and is defeated utterly,I may just take my life.Seems like I have to spend the next few days reflecting,then brace myself up and learn how to accept failures in life.Accepting is just part of the story,the moral of the story is to pick myself up after each fall.That is life greatest victory and triumph.All right,I shall stop here.

For now,off to basketball!:)

Least Expected.

2011-01-05T21:19:00.001+08:00

Just five minutes after I stepped out of the concrete shelter,droplets falling from beyond started splashing on my head."thud..thud..thud..",as I looked at the ground to protect my eyes from the rain.Thoughts were colliding in the mind with one another as rapidly as the rain wet the ground.Scenes that happened moments ago kept recurring with flashes of images.I needed someone to talk to,but there wasn't.I pushed my way into the fast-food restaurant and sat down.As usual,I was having my meal alone.It was quiet,yet it wasn't.It was raining out there,yet it was snowing.I looked up and smiled to a two-year old kid."How great if I am you.." I thought.The little boy smiled back at me and ran behind his mum as I bit my cheeseburger.Sometimes when I see kids,I play with them.And I can make myself look like kid.I wish I am one now though.Sometimes I wish I did not know how to curse and swear because I do it especially when I am enraged.Bullshit,is there a getaway here?Is there?No,there is never one.You can always put a smile on when everything is so freaking bad and this is because there are people around.What about when you are all alone?Is this a growing up process?What should I do?Should I continue to be what others expect out of me?Or should I continue to be the villian?Should I just be a nobody that no one hack cares about?These few days,Leona Lewis' "Better In Time" keeps playing to me.When I have not been listening to it for such a long time.And it reminds me of... We were cycling that day and I have to cycle pass that place,it also reminds me of you.And I mentioned you to my friend about being reminded of you.He asked whether was I still missing you.

Life is going to change in a few days after that few pieces of scraps is given to me.New life huh?New people huh?No,everything is still the same for me.Same people I face everyday.Sometimes I wanna find an argument with God.For making the most unpleasant events to happen in my life than anybody else.I feel so good each time I am worshiping.Other than that,no.Sometimes I live in my world of thoughts and enjoyed that for a mili-moment.Okay,this damn post is getting nowhere.

I don't even know what is running in this mind much less anyone.Bye peeps.

A Way Out With Workouts.

2010-12-23T01:43:00.000+08:00

Oh dear,it was one week since I last posted.And I am BACK!:D
Okay,firstly,I am NOT selling apple products already.Sorry peeps,can't give you discounts or whatsoever.BUT,I can give you opinions of what kind of apple product to buy;)

Okay,I am losing enthusiasm in this post,better go.Goodnight people:D

Can Hardly Believe.

2010-12-13T23:53:00.000+08:00

A study showed,that if you do not pay attention to anybody of the opposite sex and is tagged as "unfriendly" or "anti-social" it shows that you are simply addicted to to being single.Perhaps I was,or maybe,I am.Who cares huh,I observe any girls I want.To hell with the addict thing!
Well,have been thinking between the so 'intimidating' junior colleges and the so 'slack' polytechnic.Still deciding though,afterall,it still boils down to that piece of O levels cert huh?
Having basketball camp the next two days,so will be inactive here.Thought of what to do during camp on the bus just now.Just had a bowl of superb Udon done by mum for me:D Kind of late for me to take my supper,I know!The fats piling up rapidly in this human body already.
Bon voage to this person whom is so important in my life;
I still remember so vividly,two years back when I receive your text message just as I was about to tuck myself in the warm blanket of the Australian Hotel.I can still hardly believe how elated I was back then.Till now,the days we spent together still bring smiles.We all started with separated tables. *Laughs* But looking back now,how much I wish and yearn time will rewind and bring us back to then.Time flies,and I will be waving you goodbye at the airport tomorrow.I have to apologise,for the decision I made back then.I know I said this countless times,and it can never make up the pain that was inflicted from me to you.Well,the future will be better,wont it?Just ignore that fifteen-year-old sly ong.He was just an idiot><

Alright alright,time to sleep!Anyway!WELCOME ZAIRI AND MANPING TO PARKWAY PARADE!This two dudes will be working there soon:D YAY!

Mural Paintings.

2010-12-11T00:34:00.001+08:00

The very next time you step into the art room in NCHS,you will be so mesmerised and attracted to the mural paintings on the wall,done by several awesome artists.Of course,it is not an easy job.You see,art is a get-looked-down-subject by some huh,but here is an info for those people out there who are of this calibre.I would like to inform you that you can only use ONE maths for admission in certain poly courses:D On top of that,do you know why the design sector exist?It is also,because of art. *Shakes head* Can't help it.
To continue on,besides going to school for mural paintings today.I BASKETBALL-ED.Somehow miracle huh.Well,got addicted a little to basketball after yesterday's cycle to Jalan Kayu with cliques for Indian and Malay delicacies.Of course,not forgetting the detour Man Ping made for us.It was fun overall.On the way back we saw Zhan Chun.Great to see him putting in the extra effort and ACC.Well,this is when great players arises.Then we basketball-ed Qiyang and Xiao Ben!:D Awesomely perfect day.If only everyday is this fruitful and enjoyable huh.Of course,had a nice chat with Chin Ann and Da Ben today.Great friends/players/schoolmates/teammates(whatever I can call them)to have.Well,juniors was there too!Power pack,balled till I am so tired now.Guess what?Work tmr and I did not sleep enough for the last two off days.Goodness!Anyway who cares,everyone is taking care of me there and I am enjoying it!Will ask for vacancies tmr for Neh Bong and Man ping,if everything goes well,then WOOHOO!Another two more so-good-colleagues!Talking about work,a customer bought 42 Ipads from me that day :O Okay enough about that earning lots of commission part or I will have to treat somemore people to a sumptuous feast when my cheque arrives!Alright,I think that will be all for now.Shag already.Please come down to Parkway Parade JuzzOne to visit me:D It's located at the basement!

For now,to this particular person.I am unsure whether you will read this,but go on.All I can tell you is go on.Go on backstabbing me.Best would be killing me.If not,wait till I start coming for you;) So just bring it on.You know who you are.WeiYi was right,people who backstabs you are just jealous with what you have and are better than them at it.I am so sorry if I am better than you in any aspects we meet in life.Too bad,God's fair:)
Goodnight People:)

Off day!

2010-12-07T22:54:00.000+08:00

Okay,I think this will be a boring post.Today is off day and I spent the day sleeping and dota-ing.Brother said I was a pig and claimed that he did not sleep as much as I did when he was working!Over the holidays,I think I've fatten.All that talk about gym-ing and basketball before O levels ended.Then now,even after its over,I'm just eating and playing,socialising and enjoying this so tired yet boring life.After working for like one week plus I still think studying is really better.Much more fun and enjoyable,but well..Those days are over,aren't they?I got a lot of things to talk about!So this post will probably be kind of wordy!
Miraculously,I met Gary that day and he asked me to return to MinYi!(In case if you dont know,its a basketball club).Well,a lot of commitments are needed for basketball.On top of that,I am just pure lazy to train again!I rather coach juniors.Kind of heartache to see the whole basketball team like this.I guess someone has to step up as a player.I would really love to coach the whole team,really.But Miss Toh ain't arranging anything!Arrangements kind of screwed up huh.Kent was right actually,seniors cannot do much.But!Argh,impossible to totally hack care the team right,blame it one the fact that I am a already-graduated-captain,I feel the responsibility to take care of business.Some people call it nosey or not letting go.Yea,maybe it is?
Okay,I've decided!Juniors give me good response for my training anyway.As long as juniors tell me they want me to coach,I approach Miss Toh to make arrangements.For now,sleep!Yes,AGAIN.No choice huh,work tomorrow!:D

I love Juzz1,
But I love the MacBookPro more<3

Back Here Again.

2010-12-07T00:06:00.000+08:00

Well,I just have the sudden urge to blog again,so don't mind my randomness please!That's first.Next is,don't mind this very normal and default layout because I'm lazy to change it.
Alright,I'm just tired by work now,so brain kind of lagging.I'll try to update as frequent as possible.People who need me to tag just leave ur links on the comments!Will start blogging about life from tmr onwards.For now,goodnight!;)
Happy holidays!

Enough is Enough..

2010-07-15T00:39:00.003+08:00

Yesterday I came to this blog,I wanted to post,but I did not in the end.I opened a tab,but ended up closing the tab and turning off the computer.Well..I am just back from a sharing session with Neh bong and Jerick.They have been...not fine.You can say its a year filled with hurdles and obstacles.Very tough year.Today something happened again.Do not feel like bringing it up here now..Everything was lame.But this is something for myself,never to rely on others again.And,I would probably not trust anyone so easily again.Easier said than done.Exams are nearing and yet I am worn out.Sigh..how will tomorrow be?I go to school everyday energised,yet go home half-alive.Half-alive mentally.Things between her and me are not improving at all.I tried.She said she tried,probably,I thought.Today she turned her back on me.Does best of friends turn their backs on one and other?You know what,it is me that do not feel like going to school even now.I feel more hurt than she does,after trying so hard today.Guess I will go for lunch on my own tomorrow,and complete my essays...myself.No more reliance remember?Lastly,I hope my ankle heals soon.Then,I can really trust no one.And spend the extra time I have alone,just by myself.I believe I can always live without an any other.I have came through it.Yes,I can.
Never back down,Sylvest;)

Infatuation or...

2010-07-12T21:05:00.000+08:00

Teaching juniors have been fun.Today I did something unusual,went on the internet to do some homework on coaching.Normally I would not,I guess.They are cute and innocent,so tomorrow,I am going to let them do something really hurting.Dive on the floor for the ball.Think lots of them will graze themselves.What I love most about coaching is watching them grow up in the process.That day,before the friendly match during recess.Scott came to play bball with us.Shoot,he's still as monkey as ever.And his shooting still sucks big time,haha.But when I heard him saying he want to train for later game,it kind of spurred me to help him.So,when everyone was panting heavily and breathless.The court was only left with me and him.And I coached him.One on one.Personally.Felt,superb.Though I was passing the ball and driving him at the same time.But it felt great to see him take the shots.To see him taking me so seriously.After that,he was panting heavily,but I guess that small effort paid off during the friendly match.He took two mid-range shots and scored.So that was 100%.I was smiling on the bench when he made those two shots.Absolute.Throught these days,I think I have taken a liking to coaching.I sure its not an infatuation,definitely.Well,I will take whatever that comes along the way.
For now,Im just tired.Worn out.Too many things are happening recently.I wish I can be on the bball court now.Then there is space at least...

First quote they heard from me: Every team needs a hero.And every hero,needs a team.

Fluctuates.

2010-07-07T21:14:00.000+08:00

Someone asked me whether I'm fine recently.This person saw my tweets and posts.Well,you know whom you are,haha!I shunned away this person,deliberately.Maybe because I don't feel like talking about it.Today was great..overall.If I weigh the pros and cons.Well,twelve has not reached yet,lets not be so certain.Or should I say I havent gone to sleep yet.Anything could happen just like graduation party day..which ended,badly.Due to a common-sense based realisation.
Actually,I was having a slight fever and could go to school yesterday,but my heart was running a high fever.I guess had enough of the hypocrisy that is revolving around me.Why can't I just find someone like her..?Trustable..truthful.Perfect.A perfect friend I could had have.Today she told me its okay.Because I left something on her table and said 'opps!' You know what,I feel like apologising to her.I should not have let what happened take us apart.Especially when...she was the only one that knows me really well I guess.Unfortunately,she's gone.And I know its barely possible for us to be like once upon a time again.Can't blame anyone,I made a choice back then.SHEAT..I shouldnt.Too late Sly,live life with no regrets.Ya,my ass.Regret greatly.Who knows.Everyone thought it was over,because they knew we 'quarrelled'.Maybe Im just to naive,thinking everyone around me had the same justifiable stand.Thinking her friendship and mine wouldnt be affected.You know how awkward everytime she walks past my table and look at me?No,no one knows.You know how much I want to approach her?No,no one knows.Fine fine,talked too much craps.Its over anyway.Thanks to this mysterious someone today:) I know you meant well...but,I just can't bring myself to say what has happened and is happening now.I dont trust anyone so easily now,thats what I know.Keeping this heart enclosed.Enclose it so it doesnt come to any hurts so easily ever again.I'm done with hypocrites,backstabbers.How great if everyone was a three-year old kid huh.
Lastly,to this person who always thought about what you thought.Have you ever thought about me?What about me?Is it fair to me?Why am I entangled in this consequential conflict?It was never my business,and never once was it fair to me.And you always break your promises,so I'm really done with that too.Dont make empty promises if you cant fulfil it,because you end up hurting the other party more.

Hands pocketed,I stuffed the earpiece in my ear and walked on.Eyes slightly closed.Refusal.

The First Loss In Life.

2010-06-30T23:15:00.001+08:00

The very first day I saw her,she faced her head high up at the ceiling.Refusing to succumb to anyone.She defines pride.She stood there.Chest out,ignoring the surroundings.The blonde colour shining on her brought out her character even more.She was young,but she was tall.Taller than any others at her age.
I took the plate filled of oddly-shaped snacks and placed beside her feet.She insistently stood there.Not moving a single muscle.Refusing.My mum tried too,but she was stubborn.She sat there,took a glimpse at me.Then flipped her eyes and turned away."Such arrogance",I thought with a smile.Her character was just like mine,the type that never gives in.Finally the next day,hunger got the better of her.She dipped her head into plate and started consuming the contents.She chewed and swallow the bits like she has never eaten before.The plate glistened under the sunlight by the saliva.It was before long she came to my feet and was moaning.I ignored her.A fluffy sensation ran all over my body as she uses her head to nudge me.I looked down,only to see her eyes as if asking me to get her more food.I pushed my legs lazily and got her an extra plate.I sat there and saw her finish the food.
As days went by,Jean was succumb by me.She responds to my wolf-whistle.We would run in the garden and wrestle on the grass.Rolling.She would try to squeeze through the gate when mother comes home and run out.When its coming home,she would not dare to.She would run in circles and jump on me when I have locked the gate.One day,the sky was turning dark.Mother told me to bring the chickens and chicks to the backyard.Father and me hurriedly ran out to the backyard to quickly chase the chickens and chicks to their shelter.I was picking the chicks two by two while father chased the chickens.Jean saw what I was doing and came over.He opened his mouth and just before he snapped his mouth close on this small chick,I screamed with shut eyes.A moment later,my opened eyes only saw Jean lifting the chicks with his mouth and transporting them to the coop.I smiled at Jean and brushed her fur telling her she was a good girl.
One day,while I was at the grocery stall,mother called me on the phone and told me that Jean had ran out of the gate.Franctically,father and me immediately drove around the district to find Jean.In the car,thoughts collided.I pictued the worse scenario of Jean being kidnapped and sold to pet shops.This adds on to fast thudding heartbeats caused by anxiety.My eyes searched widely out of the car window.When we reach a certain junction,I saw Jean walking sheepishly at the pavement.In an instance,I bellowed at the top of my lungs at Jean.
"Jean!Go back home now!" Her two flabby ears shot towards the sky and she immediately ran home.Jean is hyperactive.She barks at slightest things and runs around the house as if she stole something.But one day,the house was exceptionally quiet.I knew I have not seen Jean since morning or heard her bark.This curiousity hastened my footsteps to find her in the house.At last,I found her at her usual spot,laying down.I walked over and brushed her neck.That was her favourite.She let out a bark at me,only to sound breathless.Out of tune.Her bark was always full of energy.I knew something was wrong.Worried,I took her to the vet nearby.
Outside the consultation room,I waited.The door swung open and I went in.The vet broke to me the news that Jean is suspected to have lung cancer.I brushed Jean and smelled her as she layed there on the bed,weak.The vet told me that Jean had to stay with them for a few days for further observation.Jean immediately stood up and I could see her eyes watered.She barked for me not to go.I embraced her and told her to be obedient to take her meals here.I promised her I will come back for her.Unbearably,I left the door.
A few days later,the vet confirmed Jean has lung cancer.It was best for her to take that jab now,or she would suffer.Jean looked at me and bit the fabric on my pants.I carried her away and brought her home.I did not want her to leave me there.I promised her I would be back to take her home.Back home,she lay aimlessly at her couch.Miraculously,she was barking and running around again.I brought her to the field opposite and jogged with her.We wrestled.Then,when it was time to head back home,she stood afirm like the very first moment I got know her.She was staring at the sunset.I pulled the leash with a little force,but she did not budge.I tickled her neck,just like how a mother console her child.She refused to go still.I accompanied her till the sunset.
The next morning,she layed there motionless.I ran over,nudging her.She let out a soft,almost-unable-to-hear bark.That bark told me she was in great pain and suffering.Father took me to the vet in his car.I cuddled Jean in the car,tears pelting down my cheeks.I brushed and patted her as she breathes heavily.I carried Jean into the vet's room and told him to give her the jab.I hugged Jean and she looked at me for the one last time.Then she closed her eyes and never opened it again.I cried.I had to end her suffering.Sobbing hard after the jab was given.I embraced her like she was still awake.I brushed her fur,wanting her to respond to it.But she never responded ever again.

Today could have been a great day.

2010-06-28T23:26:00.001+08:00

But it wasn't,afterall.

Lost-Self.

2010-06-13T21:02:00.000+08:00

These few days have been..uh..Yea,this few days have been "uh..".Seems like I lost myself.Have been in a big big daze.Like I am not sure what I am doing even.Dazed and rot the whole day out.Feel like using vulgarities in this post.I feel like a bum.A useless bum.After lazing out these few days.I feel this way because though I not spending any of my parents money these few days,which I used to.And very crazily,spending money like nobody's business.I dont even know why am I typing this now.I really feel I've lost my soul.I've tired out.Like I lost person in the jungle,without my compass.I think I better sleep after dinner.Off to dinner now.
I'm a big big useles person.
Because I have lost passion in everything.
Im lost.

Numbed.

2010-06-08T00:23:00.003+08:00

I wish someone would tell me what to do now.I lie on the sofa,unsure of what am I suppose to do.Unsure of life,unsure of what should I do.Unsure of whether what I do is rational or not.Most probably irrational.Today,on the way home,I told Laoma I feel betrayed.Well,she asked me about Kent.I said I feel hurt.I feel betrayed.I feel hatred.I dont know what I did wrong.Laoma said its okay,because in life I'll meet lots of people like this.Guess I was probably still foolish enough at that point of time to believe I have not only a good friend.I feel stupid,but I was told not to hate.As long as I have done things not repelling my conscience.I wish God will reach his hands out to this seventeen year old kid now.Because he is lost.Because he havent had a smooth year throughout.He was roughed out by the obstacles that happened at the start of the year already.Now there is even more to come.But he has come to a stop.A halt.Unable to move on anymore.Sometimes the tears just perched on his eyelids when his friend sings a emotional song.He tries hard enough to keep his problems within.He wishes someone around him would just offer him a shoulder to cry on.But everyone was deceived by the smile he never fails to put on.He then begins to feel he is moving along the currents of life.He sees no hope anymore.He lost confidence.Regrets,a once confident teenager who smiles to obstacles always now just embrace a soft toy given by a girl whom he loves deeply,every night.Every night he goes to bed,dejected.Then he'll smile to his reflection in the mirror every morning telling himself its a new day.He goes to school,but only to be reminded by the trauma that happened to him.Everyday,without fail,he ends up feeling tired.Not because of the busy life in school,but because those events just keeps hunting him.Schoolmates says he looks fierce,the typical nineties man.The die-hard kind.But who knows the him deep down,that,he isnt what he seems?In fact,at times he feels he need to cry.He just hide the tears.He just swallows the lump he feels in his throat when he was about to breakdown.He wishes the old guy who usually cheers him up at the basketball court is there.But everytime he goes there happily,but goes home melancholic,because he was reminded that the old guy was no longer around.He couldnt find someone to confide in anymore.Everyone thought he has got over his death.But no,he thinks of him every now and then.Nobody understands him.He is just experiencing much more pain then he can cope with.The pressure from studies adds on.He is now a goner,thats what he thinks.He wishes,he prays,hopes.Everything.
Can anyone hear him screaming for help?
Save him please.

A Second To Breathe.

2010-06-07T00:06:00.000+08:00

Never been like this before.Never have I feel so negative about life.Never so hopeless.Never feel like I cannot achieve anything,or the things I want.Sometimes I stare at the text message,then I feel emptiness,I feel nothing.At least somebody sees how empty Im feeling on my drawing.I just coloured it like this and it was deemed full of emptiness.It is suffocating-stuffing everything within.And nobody sees it still,instead everyone around adds on to this load.Its killing me anytime.Never been so lifeless.Never feel so fucked up about life.Never have I cursed because I feel hopeless,because I have never feel so hopeless.Sometimes I feel better after seeking in God,but every freaking thing comes back and assault my yet-to-recover emotional state.Never ever.Can I say the F word one million times?No you cant,because it doesnt sound good.Fuck it.Fuck everything.Screw my life,screw whats happening and screw whats going to happen.Argh!
What do you want from me?

A Kick-ass Sunday.

2010-06-01T23:26:00.000+08:00

It was great.Greatness.Awesome!Kick-ass too?Isnt it?

Wide-Open.

2010-05-29T16:30:00.000+08:00

I know everything is going to be alright,as long as I learn from it,grow in the process,and benefit from it.I foresaw this long ago,I knew something like this would happen one day.I dreamed of it before.I told you before there was this enmity and competition between him and me,but you took no heed.I could feel it,and it will get stronger.You could see it yourself,I have been avoiding unnecessary up-fronts with him.That is because I don't see the need to.For what?Does it prove anything?Yes it does,I thought.You would praise him to clouds nine,then run me down like I'm nothing standing beside him.That's what I feel at times.Well who wouldn't do that?Honestly,I don't like him at all.And though you repeatedly told me you long forgotten him,then why would you blush when I mention his name?You told me you hate him at times.You feel that he have hurt you,then why go back to the hurting?You felt he made use of you,then are you going to let him do so?Because I'm such a friend to you,I could always see the tinge of unbearable feeling to leave him in your eyes.I know you wish to reconcile with him even one day,though you never told me before.I'm sure all those hit the nail on the head.Don't deny it,because I know everything about you.Based on the time in life we have came together.
You know me.I express things differently,very differently at that.I'm only a child in front of people close to me,but I don't do that to people who are not closer to me.And this time I express it differently again,maybe?To prevent you from getting hurt,but I see no avail in my prevention.So I thought I would just let you go,and do something you want to do so badly.I hope deeply it wouldn't affect your exam the day after.
Lastly,I wouldn't want things to be like this neither.But I don't know why.I seriously feel helpless too,because I am unable to express myself as blatantly as ever already.

Past,Present,Future.

2010-05-27T22:04:00.000+08:00

There was this very day,when I spend a few hours reading the archive of this blog.The past was..a breeze.It seems like everything passed so fast.But even before this blog started,I was a total kid.Typical gangster-kid that thought the world was beneath my feet,but everything is different now.I saw how I changed gradually,and drastically at that.I wished it did not change,I wished I wished.How great if I have a time machine.Turn back everything,rewind!How great.Then I would not have punched so many guys in the face,then I would not have cause so much disruptions to the public,environment and even in school.I used to play carpark catching,block catching,basketball-in-the-rain.Everything was carefree,all I had to worry about in the past was freedom to play.Dont even have to worry about grades even when I got like 9/80 for maths?I could still basketball crazily after school.Those days seems childish,crazy,hopeless,dreamless,unrealistic to anyone now with a right state of mind.On the other side of the river,I thought those days were exuberantly fun,exaggerating,dramatic.(And Chi Wenxuan just smsed me,thinking why I havent bathe,idiot!)
I think I'll stop here.Need a few days to figure things out.Gonna take a long long cold bath.

Friend.

2010-05-19T16:46:00.000+08:00

Tell me why,but why?why.Tell me what I've done wrong that caused you to treat me like this.I remember everything clearly about us,because I swear,I treated you to my best,with my utmost sincerity,with my utmost genuine feelings.
When we were in sec two,there was once I ask you to throw a punch at me because I was feeling low,you were reluctant at first,but I told you if you do not do so I'll punch you instead,in the end you did.We quarrelled once before that year too,because you were fed up with my arrogance when I was playing bball with you.I wanted to pick a fight with you then,so much for my immaturity back then.But we patched up soon,we were fine after that.
Then it came to sec three,I know only two person got in the school team,I didnt know what is it like to not be selected,I've never not once,not got in the school team.But we had a great year then together also right?I still remember vividly how much time we spent together on the basketball court.How much silly games we played together,how you use to be the commentator when I was playing.I also remember we playing bball outside school also,the craps you will always say to make me laugh till my jaws got sore.We always went together and poke into other people's business too right?We went to watch people fight together and all that.How you used to give me hi-fives when we win a hard-won bball game.We build strong chemistry through those games,I'm sure we knew each other well,how we coordinate with each other,I know all your moves,guess you know mine well enough too.
Then during sec four,you worked hard enough but did not get in the team-because of your size.I screwed bball,I stood up with every rejection that bball is not about size.I smsed coach at night hoping she'll change her mind,I even threatened to not play for the school,if you,my friend is not playing.Do you know my heart ached when you said you are fine,but ended up crying when you walk out of the school gate?I was on the brink on breaking down too,seeing you like this.I knew you were just putting up a tough front,I knew you were sad deeply down.I stood up for you when I knew your heart was broken by a girl.Alright,maybe what I did was wrong,for what I posted on this blog back then and confronted her.It was purely to how badly I dont want to see you so dejected.I remember us going to catch harry potter at late night together,just the two of us.I remember the dirty jokes you use to say that leaves me rolling on the floor laughing.I remember how I try to help you in everyway when your family was going through a financial crisis.I remember how we had our meals together,how you taught me magic tricks,how we dota together,how we stood up for injustice among our friends together.I also remember teaching you how to colour elmo because you wanted to give that to your girlfriend.I remember everything.
Now all you do is badmouth me,but what have I done that you have to do this to me?You can tell me what you are unhappy about me,I'll jolly well change for your sake.I used to say I know you inside out,because what you dislike most is when people give negative comments about your dad.I know you dislike this,though you always smile when someone says your dad is fierce.I know and remember everything,I treated you my best,my very best.I ought to know why.

But why?

Realisation.

2010-05-18T18:01:00.001+08:00

There are many different roles all of us have to play in life.Some of us are always the center of attention,leaders,people that is the support of lots of people.Some of us..we choose to rely on these people as support.Some of us..we choose to stand alone,one man,one person,neither the support of or relying on anyone.
I guess I realised my role in life,perhaps.I'm probably both the supporting and relying role.Well,through events and incidents,I guess its really inevitable that I cannot topple.I cant topple no matter what happens,because I'm the pillar lots of people grabs onto when they are losing balance.What if the pillar topples just when these people needs them?No,I dont have a choice,toppling is no longer an option for me.I built this pillar up,now I have to ensure it is stable.
Finally,I wish I'm not just a pillar.
I wish I'm a pillar that someone has drawn a smile on.

I'll Be Fine.

2010-05-17T21:18:00.000+08:00

Its just another ordeal we are facing.Its not about me being sensitive,even if I am,so what?Dont I have a say to how your friend speak to me?Is it all my fault always?This is totally bullshit,I would have went to look for him and beaten him to a pulp if I'm still living in the past.I feel heartache,because you choose to side your friend though he started everything first.You dont walk into someone's house and leave after pooping in his garden.I haven't done anything at all.You dont understand me at all,you think I mean it when I say he's stalking me?(oh please,why would I want him to)It was purely a form of retaliation.Thanks for commenting on my face,it's obvious he's worse.Fine,I'll not comment on his superficial defect further.I feel frustrated,I feel that everything is bullshit.Now we are going to ignore each other because of him?
I feel heartsore.
I feel heartache.
I feel my heart suffocating.
Shows how fragile our relationship is.
Shows how much mutual understanding we have for each other.
An outsider can tear us apart just like that.
I'm not going to give in,because I feel that I havent done anything wrong.
Totally bullshit.

P/S: Sry to make you read a post filled with emotional thoughts Chi Wenxuan.(I think only you know this blog though) And to other readers of my blog,sorry to put you through such a stupid-bullshit post.

Shucks.

2010-05-12T20:32:00.000+08:00

I love it when everyone trust me.
I love it when everyone leaves the ball in my hands.
I love it when everyone have faith that I will put the ball through the hoop.
I love it when I bring the play to great players.
I love it when I wipe the smile off players who thinks they are great.
I love the challenge.
I love defence.
I love intensity.
I love the confidence I used to have.
I love the back down.
I love it when I reject someone.
I love it when I can play good "D".
I love it when people regard me as someone they can learn from.
I love it when people's impression of me is that Im good with bball.
I love everything about the game.
And I will love them always.
P/S: Wait till I wipe that smile off your smile once again;)

Guilt.

2010-05-06T16:37:00.001+08:00

"No!" She sounded firmly.
"These are the kids's school fees!"
I tightened my grip on her wrist forcefully,but she would not let go the scraps of blue-coloured notes in her fist.Tears of fear trickled down her cheeks as she look at me defiantly.I swung my arm,leaving an impact on that tearful face and grabbed the money as she stumbles to the concrete surface from the slap.Feeling satisfied,I walked briskly out of the flat and to my "heaven".
The cool air greeted my perspiring skin as I walked in,I went to an empty chair and sat down.People beside me had cards in their hands.Money and dices were all over the table.I took the few blue-coloured scraps of paper and placed them on the table.The first round ended,I won myself a far share of money.The grear sensation of winning ran from head to toe.It went on for the next two hours...
Finally,I lost everything.I felt poor,I felt it was impossible for me to lose everything.Head hung low,just as I was about to exit from the gambling den,a blonde hair man greeted me.
"Need cash?" As he flashed me a huge stack of notes.My face brightened.I followed him to a corner where I handed him my citizenship card.A huge stack of notes was handed to me as he copies my address.With the money in my fist,I felt rejuvenated.I was determined to win this time.I made my way back to the table...
Days later,straying on the streets,I decided to go home for cash again.The lift door slide open,I turned right after a few steps only to be greeted by an extremely pungent smell of ammonia.Red paint was also splattered on the walls and door.Frightened by the scene,I staggered away.They want the money I owe them,but where am I going to get the money.
Weeks later,the headlines flashed,"desperate housewife jumped off storeys..＂Guilt pierced its way into my heart.Tears escaped from my eyes uncontrollably.If only I did not get hooked on gambling,if only I could be satisfied with the life we once had as a family,all these would not have happened today.I am sorry,family.

Never Like This.

2010-02-22T22:15:00.002+08:00

WHEWS.Time to face it.

Knocked A Wall-Me.

2010-02-10T18:30:00.002+08:00

Some people just did something they so will regret doing from tomorrow onwards.Too bad man,you do something,you face the consequence,this is part of life.My friend and Me are not going to face some consequences for doing nothing.Stepped on my toes big time = big time trouble for you guys.Opps,I'm just playing it the smart way.

Whoa,like I'm afraid.Sorry Lady Boss.

No Surprise.

2010-02-09T20:22:00.003+08:00

This picture ji cute yi xia wor,I'm talking about the kids.Explains my day.
To be formal,they are my little brothers.Thaddius(Right),Zackery(Middle).

White Chocolate Raspberry Cheesecake.

2010-02-07T23:51:00.004+08:00

Quote of the day : "Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect.But it means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections." -From someone who found this quote and send it to someone upset,whom eventually sends it to a not-upset me.

Hippo <3 Miss Su
Chit-Tae<3

Affections Anyone?

2010-02-05T22:58:00.002+08:00

Have you ever done this experiment?Firstly,you need ten person.Then you'll tell the first person something,whispering.But when the tenth person recites it again,the whole sentence totally changes,and very differently at that.I suppose this simple experiment-post defines everything.

Snow flakes are the weakest thing in nature,but test how strong they can get when they come together,people.

Buzzing.

2010-02-04T21:20:00.002+08:00

When you decided to spend the rest of your life with somebody,you want the rest of your life to start immediately.Have you ever tried slowing down in life and dip yourself in the past?Its a great thing to do so,because you get to witness how far you have came.Then you reflect on the things you have done wrong,and tell yourself if you can turn time back,you would...Its all about the buzz.I'll think I'll stop typing here,time to retire to my nest.Super busy these few weeks,and it will not get any more slack the next few weeks.Common tests..CNY..Think most people will spend CNY studying for common test.
Taking a new way out.

Chit-Tae<3

Straws.

2010-02-03T22:39:00.002+08:00

End of another thought-it-was-beautiful-friendship,because of an already ended friendship that is causing what I didn't want it to cause.Guess some things are not meant to be from the start,will just adapt to it then everything over soon.Ten years down the road,if I see you somewhere on this little planet,I'll hold on to what I said,to what I promised,to what I swore,and pretend that I dont know you at all.Never expected things to take such a turn,was confident,guess confidence backfired.Ended.Fullstop.

Absolutely Sober.

2010-01-29T22:37:00.002+08:00

"Its not wrinkles,its lines of maturity",she said.Have been quite busy,and breezy these few days.Everything practically past just like that when I thought time would freeze.Firstly,I know I need a long sleep before my body automatically wakes up and my mind come sober.Have been lazing around like that since..Thursday?No,maybe Wednesday.Now I can go audition for some lotion or powder that helps to cover up heavy eye-bags.Days and life ahead is sure not going to be less busy,I'm sure about that.Who cares?I love the challenge,will be back for some vigorous training,which is,really vigorous.Normally-functioned people can't take it.And abnormally-functioned are always on the brink of fainting.It starts tomorrow!Let's go let's go!

"Who will you save first if your mum and her falls into the sea?I'll save my mum then jump into the sea and die together with you."
Innumerable Chit-Taes<3

Everlasting.

2010-01-27T19:19:00.004+08:00

It was down to the final seconds,every cell on my body wasn't ready to concede.I breathlessly chase a white attired teenager,the orange ball landed right in my arms as I stretched out for it.Then,I made a pass...I snapped out of the nightmare.A situation few hours ago keeps haunting my weakened mind.Why didn't I go for it..I'm so sorry guys,if its any one's fault why we lost,don't blame yourselves.Its my fault,solely.Its totally mine,failing to lead us to victory.Everything is ending.Once again,I'm utterly sorry guys.Flatly,disappointed.

Hang tough,Pui Chang and Marc :')

Unfairness Totally.

2010-01-25T23:16:00.004+08:00

A few linking events that happened recently let me realise that everyone is judgemental.Based on a rumour or gossip and their hypothesis is dead set that this person is guilty.For God's sake,don't follow the flow man,have some sense of thinking differently,and fairly.You don't listen and be convinced by some one's blatant,baseless accusations.I know I'm categorized under the judgemental kind also,this is a reflection.But there is just too much unjust recently that is happening in school that I have to speak out now.And whoever is reading this now,whether be it you are significant or not,don't,for God's sake,condemn someone based on a one-sided story by some "magnanimous" person.(That has been polluting your mind or impression about someone)I just thought the people around us ought to have some trust in their own judgement of a person and not let something or someone affect a way we respect or interact with someone.I mean,don't you feel guilty about it?I totally tasted the gist of this line," Life is never fair."

If its only for a split second,then let that split second be forever.
Chit-Tae<3

Pink.

2010-01-23T21:23:00.002+08:00

I hug it before closing my mind every night.
I glimpse at the wallpaper of my phone every time I need to see you.
But deep down,the thoughts are still the same.
Its just a reminder how far apart we are from each other physically.
But also how close together at heart.

You never failed to give me a hand.
You are totally different.
You always do something unexpectedly,when I thought you won't.
And it just widens my smile.
Motivates me another way.
Yearnings everyday,since the day you gave me...
You are my emotional support.
Or should I say you are my everything.
You are.

Always hoping time won't pass so fast when we are out.
Always hoping school holiday would be longer.
Always hoping for everything about you.
Just want to tell you,
I see the world in your eyes,
and I see your eyes everywhere in the world.

I am most magical in thoughts this time,never mind if its ignorance<3

One Word.

2010-01-22T19:49:00.001+08:00

FOCUS.FOCUs.FOCus.FOcus.Focus.focus.
F-O-C-U-S then it makes a vast difference.Get down in the mud,I'm a flounder.

Hey Kid?

2010-01-21T21:19:00.003+08:00

Something happened today,or should I say it happened few days back already.Dont have to guess,yes,it is the invisible conflict in class.Due to someone(didnt want to be mentioned when interviewed,LOL) who is,hmm..let's put it in my vocabulary,"narrow-minded and hearted".Able to remember the innummerable unhappy the events that happened since last year,great memory right?I still find it unbelievable that such a pessimist is my classmate.Sigh,maybe some people are meant to be like this.Its alright,the people surrounding just have to make do with such a person around by being magnanimous and forgiving.Let's not talk about the pessimist anymore.

Paragraph paragraph,erhhem* To end this post is a big game coming up tomorrow.Let's do it guys,we'll do it man.Time to roll.

Its learning to see someone imperfect perfectly.Chit-Tae<3

Date.

2010-01-17T11:18:00.003+08:00

Caught the Morgans yesterday,its hilarious alright :D Depends whether you know how to watch it.Was famished on the way home,and yes,again,went to compass mac then saw Ah Kent,Ah Ben,Roy and Co(Lazy to type!).In the end ate there then home-ed,dead beat.I made huge time for yesterday,which means I'm stuck with lots of things today..But!I'll complete everything that I want and need to do today.For the cake of it.Heading to Chinatown with Man Ping and Co later on,then will be mugging on the way and then will finish the load of home works,including the home works on Thursday,I was on MC then.Then basketball-ing at night,purely shooting.For tomorrow's match,solely.Gonna be damn busy and tiring next week.

Ah Kent and Me figured this out:
Monday-Early morning practice,then game.
Tuesday-Training after school.
Wednesday-Early morning practice,then 2.4km run during PE(Its been ages since I ran).
Thursday-Training after school.
Friday-Game Day.
Saturday-Training in the morning.
And on top of all these,we still need time for studies and time to do our personal things,this is crazy.That's all folks.

No more holding back.
Its colourful<3

No Way.

2010-01-15T23:01:00.003+08:00

We listened to a load of craps today after school,but among the craps,there are things to worth to be listen to.Mr Raffi is right,personal skills is to be accomplished and developed by the player himself.Its personal,we come to training to bond the TEAM.I think I know the reason why previous batches are better,its because they are much more hardworking,then it gets slacker each batch.That's why the standard of basketball in Singapore is getting worse each year.I don't know how to get each individual player to be motivated to train themselves.I've failed as a captain.My ability to motivate some is limited.Its my last year this year,I dont want things to end so fast.I'll bring some intensity to training tomorrow.I just know something,the first game of the competition determines everything.Time to WIN.

I'm the World's Greatest~
Chit-Tae<3

Lasting.

2010-01-12T22:59:00.006+08:00

Great achievers were once great dreamers.Some people thinks that its totally futile to dream,some just tells us to face reality.The hunger and thirst should never die down.Its constant anticipation and self-discipline that leads to one achievement.I tried to defy rules four year ago.Then I defeated fatigue and insults three years ago,my own way.I ultimately tried to defy gravity two years ago,but to no avail.Then I tried to convince that there is talents and ability in me one year back.I just feel kind of sorry to Cool.The best and worse training is at MinYi.Only the strongest survive each training and pull out to be better.It was the first time I was totally impressed and insulted flat.Probably I knew I had lost totally at that time.I learned to be stronger in the mindset through the process,to be constantly spurred on.Now that everything is over,I want to ask something,is everything done over the past few years a satisfied achievement?Deep down I know there is no satisfaction to me.Its just following steps of a modern student.Its just earning the right to step into the interview room.You don't study to earn money,you use your brains to earn money,you are always right when I'm reminded of your teachings,Cool.Totally respects you.

Today is a bad day.
Lwan-Tae<3

Aims.

2010-01-11T20:59:00.005+08:00

Started off the day early with good news,and it made me so not like me the whole day.Okok,better get over it and move on to the next subject-ART.Took coursework today,still deciding which topic to work on,was totally demoralised after realising that Edgar got B3 for art.Okay,I'll tell you people that its impossible for his art to get a B3.One look across his boards and you'll know it.Are the standards rising?or is it because I'm afraid.This is mad,no A1's at all,but A2's only.Can I get a distinction for Art?Its one of my scoring subjects though.I'll just give it my best shot.Meanwhile,everyone add oil for O and N levels!Time to brainstorm mind map :o

Brainstorm and storm whips up.
Lwan Tae<3

Springs.

2010-01-10T22:46:00.003+08:00

Basketball-ed big time these few days,maybe because of the upcoming games.Its after all my last year,I don't want it to end just like this and so fast.I think I've got sunburns.Kent said my face looks red when I was heading to tuition on Saturday :O Anyway English tuition is great,just trying to secure a distinction here.And!tomorrow is the release of results and Art paper 1.Take pictures,do sketches..shadings..colourings..Busy and tired life is back soon.Let's pray and hope that tomorrow's Chinese results will motivate me even more.Someone is praying for me :P I think the anxiety spoilt my ability to predict my results,like how I used to.I mean,maybe its expectation.For the next few weeks and months on the road,its all about anticipation,no expectations at all.Goodnight and Good luck people.

Smiles,and smiles.
Lwan Tae<3

Orange Juice.

2010-01-10T00:13:00.003+08:00

Thoughts,Love,Accomodation.
Studies,Basketball,Eat.
Explainably cowardity of me.
Explainably different.
What can I do.
Pictures.
Msn.
Sms.That's all.
I don't want to stop working.
I want to be busy.
Its not just for the sake of this - <3.
Why.
How.
Maybe its like this.
Maybe again,maybe its not.
I dont want it to be like this.
What can I say.
I just want to smile.
But you to laugh.
Clock's ticking.
Who knows what's running in this small brain of mine.
God knows.
Sigh.
Goodnight.

Chit-Tae<3
And its not this that define my "Laave".Who knows.
Sigh.

Smiles.

2010-01-08T23:58:00.002+08:00

Firstly,my fattening program is a success.I'm sixty-five kilograms!Whoa!Actually its for the sake of bball.I don't look fat now,so its okay.Today is a restless day,but lessons are still as great though.Have to wake up early in the morning for CCA open house.Yawns can!But actually it brought me back to memory lane when I saw the secondary ones this year.Four years ago I was still standing on the stage putting up a song with my class for secondary one orientation.Appreciates the solutions Mdm Yeo gave me to polish my English today though.Have tuition tomorrow after open house,then home works,then bball.No choice,so ready to roll for bball and O levels.Ready for the release of Art Paper 1 on Monday,whews.Anyway,Im beginning to have more confidence in my weight,because something kind of dramatic happen when I was playing bball just now :o Will be hogging to my phone from noon onwards tomorrow,BUT,don't sms me please,cos Im expecting someone else's sms :D That's all,hope you enjoyed your day people.

Chit-Tae<3 :O

Missing.

2010-01-07T20:57:00.005+08:00

It was late in the evening,I sat alone at the bus stop waiting to be on the way home.Had dinner with friends just earlier on,and didn't want to slack with them somewhere for Men's talk.Vehicles zoomed past me,I was staring into blank space,with my black headphone on.Music was blasting over my ear,then a text-message interrupted my song,I enthusiastically zip open my bag and looked at my phone,opened eyes.Its not her text-message,I read the text-message lazily and left my phone back at the bag without replying.I headed to the marketplace near my home,to print something,then I went to get Chocolate Ice Blended,I added Oreo,extra chocolate,they say that chocolate cheers someone up,but it doesn't to me at all.I ordered another peanut butter waffle,I know its high sugar level!At least it keeps me awake and aware how much thoughts I have of you.I just keep eating when I'm feeling down,and I already ate a lot at the coffee shop near Kent's house.Don't care about the price,just eat and drink all I can,that's everything I needed then.Its unbearably poignant to miss someone.I'll cherish anything more this way.We still have a long way ahead,together.I wish school can keep me as busy as you,but it cant.It feels like you are having an asthma attack when our mind is filled with someone.

What do you do when you miss someone.
Chit-Tae<3

First Day Of School.

2010-01-04T17:45:00.004+08:00

Today is definitely not a good day,I did something so tragical.(I thought so)Guess Im not really ready for school's reopening again,need some time to tune back.Art paper 1 is next week!Got to start being busy again.Lastly,tomorrow will be a better day.I'll do it for your forgiving love.

I love your everything,everything.
Chit-Tae<3

Happening.

2010-01-03T16:52:00.003+08:00

Went to somewhere in Marina Sqaure for Brunch with Laoma and quite a few other people.Look at the picture and you will know who were there!Boys were late instead of ladies!Xiao Ying wasnt there because she went to China for vacation I think :o Then meet someone someone at city hall mrt station before heading to work.Yesterday was last day of work though,great experience can,at least I know how a banquet runs now.Most importantly,Im so super happening today,since..hmm..since one plus or two last night :P Hyperactive though.Today is just a day at home to prepare things for school,then heading to future for basketball with Ah Ben and Jerick.School's reopening and the busy life is back!Im so not ready for B boys yet.That's all,got to go running now,got some stuffs to get and do.See you tmr fellas!Im really so happening today :P

I'll mould the future and paint your life,just for us.
Chit-Tae<3

The Last and The First.

2010-01-01T14:20:00.002+08:00

The word marriage is not a noun,its a verb.And a verb is a action word,without Love you cant have marriage.I wish I can Love you everyday,and sweetly. -quoted from a super romantic guy.

Its amazing when you can't stop missing,you just want to keep hearing the swish.As if time stops there.

Chit-Tae<3

Number Nine.

2009-12-30T12:41:00.004+08:00

Today I want to talk about someone called "star".Star was one of the better students in school,she was someone strong despite her petite size.She defied everyone's judgement that there can be a strong friendship between a guy and a girl.And she defied it with me.Through the passing months she constantly supported me by listening to my problems,without complaining at all.Then we beginning supporting each other in life,she began telling me her problems too.Of course,we had obstacles along the way,but our friendship didnt falter.As the exams was nearing,she took every time she had to help me in my studies,she printed notes for me,even copied them.Im sure it wasnt easy to coach someone like me with studies.Lots of people said we look like a couple,people around us or in school was beginning to say we were in love with each other,but it wasnt.I guess its because they haven gone through such an extraordinary friendship yet,thats why.Although rumours were flooding between us,it didnt fail her to treat me normally and sincerely.She then began to have problems with her clique,because they think she has "over-treated" me too well.She lost her once best friend too,they fell out.I was guilty over it,but she told me it had nothing to with me.I didnt know what can I do when she teared,all I can say to her was a simple "cheer up".Lastly,Im just glad you were around when everyone was tearing me apart.Friends Forever<3

This post is purely dedicated to a friend of mine who believes that stars do make wonders.

Red.

2009-12-28T22:04:00.003+08:00

Went to watch Chipmunks today,its a great movie can,the hamster/squirrels/mouse(I dont know what they are) all so cute :D Walked the whole street of Somerset today,packed with people of course.I think I've recovered from yesterday's shock,disappointment too.Going to work hard for things,because they dont come to you just like that,you go to it,you work for it.Lastly,2010 is coming people!Im working for the last few days before holiday ends,because its the last few days D:

Paint my life.
Chit-Tae<3

Random.

2009-12-26T20:24:00.002+08:00

Went to catch Sherlock Homes with Xiao Ying,Miss Toh,Miss Quek,Zairi,James,Chien Chun and Bing Liang.All of us are late except Chien Chun,we were suppose to meet at 12pm at compass,then I reach at 12.15pm,James at 12.45pm,Zairi even worse,12.5pm.And most importantly we meeting xiao ying at 1pm,Bing Liang was also late,he smsed me to tell me he just leave house when we at Serangoon.Reached there and caught the movie,and the rating is somewhere in the middle of bad and okay.Sherlock Homes is smart though.Actually wanted to come back earlier so I can go basketball with Filipinos,but reach SengKang already six plus.Tomorrow is another busy day,going to breakfast then to game.Its finals!Anyone want to catch Nan Chiau High vs Kranji Secondary can be at Kampong Ubi community club at 5.30pm.Its for 3rd and 4th though.Anyway,I need a translation/translator for Korean Pop Songs!I think the songs will be more meaningful this way.
Let's talk about work now,the most fun part about work is when you eat secretly,when guests starts a conversation with you,and when you have a cuuuuuuutttteee little baby at your table!Anyway tomorrow is my cousin's wedding,but I can't be there. D: Lastly,Merry Christmas people!(A little late though,but sincerity counts right!)

Hearts and Hearts,all about Hearts.
Chit-Tae<3

Afraid.

2009-12-23T23:18:00.003+08:00

Kbox-ed today,quite fun overall.Sing till I no voice now.Going to bball tmr I think,cos sunday is game day.Finals for 3rd and 4th though,think quite alot of people will be there.Its no more for that medal,its for glory already.Totally almost no voice now,tmr whole day bball,then friday work,saturday outing with xiao ying,sunday game day,monday post-christmas outing!So busy can,but happy though!:D Anyway,school's reopening soon and I need to get loads of thins still,new pair of shoes,books,uniform,stationaries,a new sport bag.Hair dont need cut already,school reopen sure acceptable height.Lastly,today is a great day,super great day!Have to thank Shuqi for her compliment lo,she say I sure look like ah beng if I dye hair!Thank you lo like this.I love Korean Pop,super rocks!

Yes!Yes!
Chit-Tae<3

Rain,drenched.

2009-12-23T00:54:00.003+08:00

Lost at semi-finals today,wasnt ready for the match at all.Sorry guys,I feel guilty actually elbowed one player from the opponent team.Though its part of the game,never played like this before.Dont know why but like mood swings these few days.(P/S: My period come already can!=P)Just reached home and took a bath,think will stay up quite late till I'll be so tired then I can sleep,wake up then meet up with my dear sister and daughter.My hair is finally growing!I can finally see the difference in growth!*Prick Prick* Anyway,xiao ying had a hard time confirming which movie we want to catch,cos Ah Meng said Avatar sucks.But I met Bryan just now and he say watch 3D(If you are reading this xiao ying,go book 3D Avatar,if you want to.)Lastly,Im beginning to love Korean Pop songs,thanks to buddy and xuan jie.

I'll never forget how ecstatic I was on 10/12 at 12.15pm.
Chit-Tae<3

Rotted.

2009-12-21T21:19:00.005+08:00

Today is a so not fruitful day,spent the whole day texting,gaming,eating and drinking.Tmr is semi finals,but I feel sick now.Thanks buddy for his Korean Pop songs.Thanks Xiao Ying,Xuan Jie and Evelyn for chatting with me through the day.Anyway,our outing is comfirmed,those who are going please dont "put aeroplane" at last minute ah.Holiday is down to one week,I cant believe another year of studying is about to start again,because I haven't played enough!Not forgetting also,want to thank Jerick and Ah Kun for accompanying me to mac for supper in the middle of the night,Ah Kun was suffering from insomnia and Jerick is boredom.That's all,I'm feeling sick now,I think.How I wish I can be your doctor to everything D:

Get well soon. D:
Chit-Tae<3

Unbelievable Endings.

2009-12-21T17:06:00.002+08:00

Fireworks.

2009-12-20T14:24:00.003+08:00

There is a rainbow sometimes after the rain,but there are floods sometimes after the rain too.Was awaken by the irritating renovation noise right under my house,some neighbour under my house is renovating his/her house.So noisy can!Broke my beauty sleep.Anyway,we are in the semi's :D Won over Jurong West,I think I cracked my ankle a little,but its okay now.No problem,unbeatable,unshakable,resolve.Spend the morning reading the archives of my blog,then was reminded of a phrase,"its not the expectation,its the anticipation." And this is one thing that keeps me from going on.Think Im going to play hard and study hard next year.Like to thank Desmond for his little Christmas gift,he was there to support us yesterday too.Going to pack up then off to work,think Im going to sleep on the train,dead beat.Semi finals wont be a problem,Im sure it wont.Let's go guys,time to believe.

Its not the expectation,its the anticipation!

Iced Latte.

2009-12-19T13:08:00.004+08:00

[Friday,18]
Congrats to everyone who have been promoted to 5N.Miraculously,I was more worried for yesterday's game then results,maybe because I indulged myself too much with this orange ball recently.Anyway,yesterday's game was a thrill,it was a great game,we have great supporters,haha!Not forgetting to say that we are heading for the semi's if we take down today's match.Haven't been in tip-top condition for bball recently,and I fouled out yesterday!Oh my.Jasper came along to watch the game yesterday,therefore the bus was unusually bombarded with more jokes.Went to eat after the game,then slacked at compass mac with Kent,Ah Ben,Roy,Qiyang,Ah meng and Wei Liang.Slept at three I think,was reading,and doing something else,obviously I was too tired to post thats why I have to post now.Last week of the holidays are coming,and I foresee that it will be packed with actitvies,really packed.Upcoming things: -Kbox Outing.
-Movie&Dinner Outing.
-Work.
-Upcoming competitions and trainings.
-Christmas celebration/outing.
-Hong Kiat's BBQ(Not confirm).
-Cousin's Wedding.
-Get another pair of shoes.(I think)
-Shopping with Roy(Not confirm)
Im going to need to strike off some activities and head to work,I need to go work,the two big-size guys are starting to feel helpless without me around already.Haha!:D

Now can you be there?

"Next Please".

2009-12-18T00:50:00.002+08:00

Met up with Ah Ben,Scott and Jason earlier at skcc today earlier just before our game,takeaway-ed mac with Ah Ben to skcc.Played with Gary and friends then Kent came.Left skcc then went to disturb Weian and Dawson at compass,cos they working.Went to skcc back again bcos boss want to eat Korean noodle.In the Scott and me also eat-.- Our part-time Hongkee(Ah Meng) came down to find us while we eating and accompanied us there.Bus-ed to Kampong Ubi for competition,as usual,we always have a comedy on the bus with Kent and "Lu"(Roy) around.Haha!Throughout the game,we played real bad,and won by five points only.Think we underestimated them,anyway tmr is a big big day with a big big game,with the release of results too.Wish everyone good luck for their results.I want to win,I want to win no matter what tmr.That's all,so tired now,"saw saw ate tot" ppl.Heh,cool right,learning Karen language part-time!

Where is the intensity?

Game Day.

2009-12-17T00:13:00.002+08:00

Had a game earlier on with Woodlands Ring Sec,and we won :D Sorry guys,got a little impatient during the game.Dine with Ah Ben,Kent,Roy and Marc then bus-ed home after that.Tmr up against Springfield Sec,let's win guys!Currently reading "Say Hi to courtship",great book!Go get it and read if you have the time people.N levels results is coming!

Rains.

2009-12-15T20:36:00.004+08:00

[14,Monday]
Bro last minute call me go skcc early in the afternoon,then basketball at cc for awhile before heading to compass to meet up with a Henry and a few others.Then headed down to Kampong-Ubi CC for a game with Guang Yang Secondary.Kent and Roy so noisy on the bus,everyone sitting at the front of the bus keep turning around to look at us.We won eventually :D (She cheer on me of course win,Haha!)After the game went to makan with Kent,Roy,Scott,Ah Ben and Marc.Throughout all of us crapping,and eating.Kent and me really eat,we EAT.Roy and Ah Ben eat until really cannot stuff anymore food.The funniest part is the racist joke from Kent,cos Jurong West secondary got one indian guy playing on the court then Kent suddenly turn around and tell me: "eh how come Jurong West got four players playing only ah?"
Me: (Counting) Where got?Five mahs.
Kent: FOUR LAHS.
Me: (Brain procssing what he said,lagging) Then stared laughing my ass off.LOL
Headed home by bus after that,so full,I think everyone went home bomb their house toilet.

[Today]
The match was postponed to tmr due to a downpour.Aww,but its okay,we are ready,arent we guys?Today no makan went home,cos raining,then bus-ed home with bro.Both of us so quiet on the bus can.Tmr is a big game,Im sure.Dont know whether bro still want to go Hougang Plaza anot,waiting for his call.

I'll be there,just when you need someone to be.

Night Cycling.

2009-12-12T22:40:00.002+08:00

Went to queensway earlier the day today,Jerick,James and Neh bong came.We not pig,met James at compass then went to KFC to eat.Just nice the person serving the counter is Jerick and Neh Bong's primary school friend,so Jerick's two piece chicken meal became three piece,his drink from med become large,he left the counter with a mountain of food and paid lesser than me!
After that we head to queensway,walked through a lot of shops finding shoes and comparing prices.In the end I got two pair of shoes and Jerick got one.Then,we really not pigs ah,we went to eat at the cafe there again.After that we take bus all so full.Went home got change then headed to 120 to bball with Filipinos,met a long-time-no-see friend.He become super tann,swim then bball then swim.Maybe one day I try ah.
Bball done then cycled down to Kovan to watch Roy and Scott play finals for AND1 cup.Four of us cycle bicycle then Jerick and James gangster sia,they cut across the road like nobody business.Luckily Hao Yong and me is law-by-law citizen,I already tell James and Jerick dont cycle like this already,if anything happen I cannot return their parents one Jerick or James.Reached Kovan then saw Kent and Jason,they borrowed our bikes and went to Hougang Green makan.Then Kent another "bo zheng hu" one also,he dare tell me he chiong across two to three traffic lights.Lastly,congrats to Scott for getting MVP(Most Valuable Player) in AND1 cup,Kent was joking that he was the MP3 before we leave.Haha!It was a fun day today.

I swear that your text-message triggered the millions of hyper-active cells in my body.Its Karen New Year people!

No More.

2009-12-11T20:30:00.004+08:00

New moon-ed today,the movie was okay.I want to watch Bodyguards and Assasins!But its M18,nvm,I'll get to watch it somehow.These few days aren't working,going to queensway with Neh Bong tmr.Game day is monday and tuesday,whews.And we have to head to Lena and friend's chalet after the game on tuesday.Ultimately,results are going to be released soon,I thought of it only when I saw the personal messages of Man Ping and Zairi.Too packed up with busy schedules to keep track of the days left.Whatever it is,goodluck people.Let's promote together everyone!Im going to stay up for someone tonight,oh my,got to get a book to read so I wont fall asleep.

Give me a hundred ways to court a girl.

Chalet cancelled out of schedule due to inconvenience.Teh Tarik with friends added.

Melts.

2009-12-10T21:38:00.002+08:00

I did something so crazy yesterday,something I've never done before.And she said I was funny,which means she likes it I guess.Time ticks away as I await her text message.Was quite discouraged when I didnt receive her sms the following morning when I woke up.But guess what!She smsed me when I was heading to compass for lunch!You couldnt believe how ecstatic I was.Guess we are hitting off quite well for now,just that I haven asked her a very important question.Which is,so difficult to ask.Takes time okay!And nu er said I was taking a long time!@!#@!@%@#@!@ I just dont know what we can chat about through sms.Still in the process of recovering from the state of shock due to something I did which is so crazy yesterday,oh my.

Its definitely you.Definitely,finally. :D

First Time.

2009-12-08T20:57:00.005+08:00

Basketball camp was alright.Quite a lot of people turned up,but that's not the topic of the day.Lost to Kranji Secondary by two points,I know its only two points,but its still a loss eventually.Almost won..Sigh.We were so close.I was quiet on the way there,its not because I emo-ing,I was listening to music.Was getting mentally prepared for the match,getting confident,thirst for victory,and believing that we will win.Believe,and it will happen. -Michael Jordan Dont worry,we will win the next match alright.For now,I owe myself two hundred and twenty push-ups,because I was twenty-two points away from career high.See everyone on thursday during training.I dont want secondary school basketball life to end so early this time.

Maybe the taste of such a defeat in time will prove to be a great asset.

Clouds.

2009-12-05T22:17:00.005+08:00

Aim for the sky,so that even if you fall you will land on the cloud.Three-on-three was great today.Met quite a lot of friends,and real basketball pros.Lost to YOG players at semi finals.Will be playing for 3rd and 4th postion tomorrow.Lots of things to get,a new pair shoes,shoe bag..etc.Whews..going to turn in early,tmr's a big game.Dont know when I can get back to work at Pan Pac!When will I be free?!Horoscope says : The climb uphill may be a struggle, but it will make your muscles stronger.

Wow,stunned,impressed.

Busy to Busier.

2009-12-04T23:57:00.004+08:00

Packed with a whole lot of activities the upcoming weeks till school reopens.The only time I get to do something more is sleep.Work is fun,Jasper cant stop "pouring cold water" on Yang Bing.Journey to work with the two of them around is so much more fun.I told them both they give me a lot security because they two very big size.In the end Jasper say I gay-.- Warning: dont talk to Jasper when his period come,or you will face a emotional breakdown after he bombs you with a whole what of words.Im taking the risk to warn you guys ok!Jasper sees this Im dead.

This post is dedicated to the two big-size guys who accompanies me to work. :D

D-up.

2009-12-03T00:28:00.002+08:00

You play ball anywhere,you play defence,you own the boards,you win anywhere. -Kobe.
And Im going to play defence this friday.

One In A Million.

2009-12-01T18:34:00.003+08:00

Last week was so busy working that I forgotten to blog over and over again.Anyway,this week not going to Pan Pacific due to 3-on-3 D: When I started work as a trainee,when I started working the first day,the second day when we were allocated to different ballrooms.And Sunday was the last day I got to see you before Im going to be absent for a week.At least you waved goodbye to me when your bus was leaving...I dont know anything about you at all.I wonder what will things be after one week when Im back in action.Going to shop for quite a few things I need.Anyway,your pm is meaningful xiao ying!If you are reading this now,I totally understand what you mean.Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want,it is the realization of how much you already have.

I thought of being the dew which is there after the rain,refreshing it is,but its invisible.You are the only reason why I go to work now,because I get to see you.

Faces Reality.

2009-11-24T01:22:00.002+08:00

Went for interview with Yang Bin and Jasper today.The person-in-charge said the most appointments clinched will be employed.At the end of the day,Jasper and me got employed.I finally realises what the reality of this society is.That is,if you dont have money,then you are nothing.And if you are working,you dont have authority,you are just a fry.If you have money and status,nothing can come in your way,and you have what you want.On the other hand,if you are broke,who gives a damn about you man.So people,enjoy your teenage life now,because you dont need to face much things and catch up with the fast pace of life here.

Prison Break.Prison Break man~

Lifeless.

2009-11-21T19:57:00.003+08:00

Holidays are boring.Damn boring,thats why I need a whole lot of activities to do.Watched "Prison Break" the whole day at home.I think its like 10 plus episodes.Then someone keep nagging that Im not letting my eyes rest through sms.Haha!Its alright,have been staring at Wentworth Miller the whole day."Prison Break" is a recommended drama series alright,go catch it if you have the time.You'll learn a lot of things from it,I think.Upcoming competitions during december,fifteen players are already selected to represent the school,disappointed faces flashed,but..
Hope everyone isnt slacking but training hard yea?(even though Im slacking,hah)That's all,going for a night stroll at that particular park,with someone.Shh!Going to work tmr man,thats all.

We have done nothing wrong,but it will be perfect if everything is over.

Yawns.

2009-11-16T22:34:00.002+08:00

They say people who trust someone's word too easily is a fool,they say that people who are like this is innocent,but who cares?I've always make do with broken promises.If anyone or anything is to be blame,then blame it on myself who is always so positive and failing to see things that might happen.Maybe Im too much a optimist myself,maybe I should be more pessimistic.This way I wont be always stuck-ed with disappointments and can be happier if I dont pin too much hopes on a person or matter.

Weigh the pros and cons they say.

Answers.

2009-11-12T21:59:00.002+08:00

The world is big,wide,borderless they say.But they also say that this is a small world,your love will find me if its strong and true enough.Nothing is going to happen unless something is done.

Dead Blog.

2009-11-03T22:20:00.001+08:00

Just dont feel like posting recently,goodnight.
Anyway,when I saw how you reacted,I saw my sec-two self in you,just as reckless,but its okay,I went through it,be as reckless as you can now,you wont be able to as you grow older.Enjoy your childhood!

Divide.

2009-11-01T22:20:00.003+08:00

I'll take the charge.

And not forgetting,happy birthday Kent Tan!Hah.

The Other Way.

2009-10-27T19:42:00.006+08:00

I prefer the other path,I dont know why.'Sticks and stones can break my bones but words cannot harm me'.These words are etched deeply in my mind from my primary school discipline master.What's the point of reacting to words from someone of such level of maturity?If you still think you can provoke me as easily as ever,then sorry,I think you are so wrong.People do change,it just matter whether its for the better or worse.I have more important things to attend to now,I have goals in life,and you are just one little obstacle along the way.For all you know it maybe a blessing in disguise,because maybe when I get to see more despicable and illiterate bastards I will be careful of them in time to come.For that I have to thank you.For such a priceless lesson not everyone get to experience.Too bad,Sly's grown up.

P/S: Maybe someday I'll teach you a lesson on "gratitude".

No way.

2009-10-23T19:54:00.009+08:00

I'll never give up.Im going to challenge my limits,Im going to overtake the usual me.
The right hand is used to flick.
The left hand is just to support.
Flick your right wrist while your left hand remains just at supporting.
Follow through till the ball touches the rim.

I'll never ever give up,cos I am I,just you try stop me.

Anyway,Bon Voage Shuqi!Know something?Its been ages since someone send me a beautiful heartshape full of love and sincerity,I'll thank you for that,and I smiled when I read that sms alright=)

Shoot.

2009-10-21T22:05:00.002+08:00

I've never play like this before,it sucks.Seriously it sucks.Drenched in perspiration,this is crap.

I'll be back!ARGH.

Bird Day.

2009-10-20T12:53:00.004+08:00

Today is nu er's birthday,but shuqi and me took her out earlier yesterday.Im never gonna go shopping with any girl so easily again man,unless its a special occasion.Oh my!I stood at the shop for like okays,almost an hour,maybe more than that.Anyway,most importantly,happy birthday nu er!

Out!

2009-10-18T15:26:00.003+08:00

Got hold of some pictures,enjoy it.=)

Idol.

2009-10-17T22:11:00.002+08:00

Dawei went overseas liaos,aww.Anyway his only 17 years old and he is in senior men's national basketball team.Admire admire=DDD He gone to Guang Zhou liaos,for tournament.

Target: Reach to his level of bball.Its not a must,its a will.

How to shoot well.

2009-10-15T01:34:00.002+08:00

If you want something,you get it done.-cool
And hello xiao ying if you come to my blog again,there is something at the bottom of each post for you to leave a comment on,better not come again when you are suppose to be studying!
Whews,Im learning how to shoot properly,ya,which is the correct way most importantly.Yawns,thats all,just finish playing dota,anyone want to basketball at school this friday?Goodnight!

Basketball Please?

2009-10-12T22:53:00.002+08:00

Basketball members please kindly click the link below and direct your tags to the basketball blog.The blog is alive again,ya,I know finally.Thanks to me=D
See you guys at the blog.

寂寞, 好了

2009-10-09T20:52:00.003+08:00

拼命的奢望
闷坏的胸口让我想大声的呐喊
我努力不放你冷淡你让分手就这样
我连做梦也感觉受伤
一年过了还是一天计算着慌张
计程车上的音响我们最爱的情歌
这一刻却重重击破思念的心脏
夜深了我怎么办寂寞了谁在身旁
心情变得好复杂想她念她恨她
一个人你害怕吗细数过漫天星光
说好永远不分开多假多假多假
让记忆长出翅膀飞翔
心放空了寂寞好了

坚强外表下我脆弱情人节开始失常
别人庆祝我却很失落
秋天过了冬天漫长
关于爱感伤
我们天真的勇敢我们追求的梦想
舍不得也只能收藏旅行的时光
夜深了我怎么办寂寞了谁在身旁
心情变得好复杂想她念她恨她
一个人你害怕吗细数过漫天星光
说好永远不分开多假多假多假
让记忆长出翅膀飞翔
心放空了寂寞好了
寂寞感冒全都可以好的
爱多甜伤多痛都释放 oh~

夜深了我怎么办寂寞了谁在身旁
心情变得好复杂想她念她恨她
一个人你害怕吗细数过漫天星光
说好永远不分开多假多假多假
让记忆长出翅膀飞翔
没有你心放空了寂寞好了